Amongst the reasons approaching a beautiful woman is so challenging is the congruence test. A gorgeous woman gets hit on as much as 15 times a day! Because of this, she needs a very effective system to quickly filter out the monkeys from the possibles.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are actually as confident as you seem to be, usually by throwing a fussy comment or insulting you in some manner. It is to see how you, their potential date, reacts to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you might have the ability to handle her in real life.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your confidence so that a poser will run away. These are some of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"Where'd you get those ugly shoes?"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
"What car do you drive?"
"How old are you?"
"I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my personal favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
Pretty brutal! If you experienced a congruence test, it seems like you have actually been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut ... Meanwhile, your ego plummets quicker than you can run away from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and does not always mean the woman is not interested. There are four techniques you can employ to turn her rudeness into a flirtation and prove to her that you can handle a woman who is a little bitchy occasionally.
1) Flip the script!
Flipping the script means that you're using what she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only speak to good looking guys." You can just reply, "Is that why you like me so much?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can respond, "Yeah! We should really lose a couple pounds together." This will startle and probably amuse her. If nothing else, it'll soften her up.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "accidentally" misinterpret it as a sexual advance. If she says "Where'd you get those hideous shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wishes to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I have actually just met you, don't come on to me too fast." She'll end up being the surprised one, and you will effectively pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever strategy you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't want to dance right now. Maybe a little later though." Don't get caught up in her game; she really just wishes to know that you will not be frightened by it, she doesn't need a sparring partner.
4) Play along
Another method to surprise her and turn the discussion onto a more favorable track is to simply make the remark fun by playing along. "I could ask you the same!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her reluctance to engage you but turns the confrontation into something fun.
That's it!
When you overcome your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the self-confidence you can summon and she reacts with a mean remark, it is easy to get dejected. Just keep in mind that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came prior to you. But you are not an average chump, so don't hesitate, even for a second, or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she throws a congruence test at you, don't waver in your self-confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, remain confident, and do not let her shake that confidence.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are actually as confident as you seem to be, usually by throwing a fussy comment or insulting you in some manner. It is to see how you, their potential date, reacts to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you might have the ability to handle her in real life.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your confidence so that a poser will run away. These are some of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"Where'd you get those ugly shoes?"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
"What car do you drive?"
"How old are you?"
"I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my personal favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
Pretty brutal! If you experienced a congruence test, it seems like you have actually been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut ... Meanwhile, your ego plummets quicker than you can run away from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and does not always mean the woman is not interested. There are four techniques you can employ to turn her rudeness into a flirtation and prove to her that you can handle a woman who is a little bitchy occasionally.
1) Flip the script!
Flipping the script means that you're using what she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only speak to good looking guys." You can just reply, "Is that why you like me so much?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can respond, "Yeah! We should really lose a couple pounds together." This will startle and probably amuse her. If nothing else, it'll soften her up.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "accidentally" misinterpret it as a sexual advance. If she says "Where'd you get those hideous shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wishes to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I have actually just met you, don't come on to me too fast." She'll end up being the surprised one, and you will effectively pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever strategy you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't want to dance right now. Maybe a little later though." Don't get caught up in her game; she really just wishes to know that you will not be frightened by it, she doesn't need a sparring partner.
4) Play along
Another method to surprise her and turn the discussion onto a more favorable track is to simply make the remark fun by playing along. "I could ask you the same!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her reluctance to engage you but turns the confrontation into something fun.
That's it!
When you overcome your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the self-confidence you can summon and she reacts with a mean remark, it is easy to get dejected. Just keep in mind that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came prior to you. But you are not an average chump, so don't hesitate, even for a second, or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she throws a congruence test at you, don't waver in your self-confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, remain confident, and do not let her shake that confidence.
About the Author:
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